Those damn Mayans and fanatics alike are trying to scare the whole world with this Twenty-Twelve "end of the world" hoopty-doo, and H-Beam is here to stop it! Taking advice from those cute little igbok™ stickers, we here at the H-Beam Estate would like to remind everyone out there in internet land that the world couldn't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia! Take the "H-Beam Loves You" mantra and spread it! Thanks for listening and always supporting the Weirdo Collective!
H-Beam recently visited the swanky Rhythm building on Music Row to drop an acoustic performance of "Naked Ladies Dot Com" from H-Beam's latest album Useful Box of Hair. The view was fantastic, the crew was very courteous, and the talent of the other artists was apparent. BalconyTV broadcasts via six cities across the globe, highlighting local and regional talent, Nashville being the only U.S. location in the mix. To check out music from the states along with the rest of the world, follow the magic links:
Founded in June 2006, BalconyTV is a leading daily online viral music show that features bands, musicians and other variety acts on balconies around the world. BalconyTV currently operates from locations in Dublin, London, Hamburg, Poznan, Nashville and Auckland with more locations on the way.
BalconyTV is operate by music producer Sean Giovanni and shot from the lofty heights of the Rhythm building on Music Row. Thanks again Giovanni. What a treat!
Well would ya look at that! H-Beam is being featured on Windows Media Guide as a featured artist. Just follow the link to Windows Media page and click on H-Beam's picture for a FREE download of the single "Bang" off of Oojah (2006). Keep tuning in and telling yer friends about us. We're gonna keep on keepin' on this silly train until the tracks end! Doo Doo Baby!
That's right consumers. Follow your stuff-driven appetites and fulfill your wildest H-Beam desires by taking a trip to the new "H-Beam Store" powered by ReverbNation. Along with the brand new h-beamlive.com designed by NOTeNEF Promotions, H-Beam is looking forward to making all of your consumerism fueled pleasures come true this magical Twenty-Ten.
Hay everybody. Big Charles Tuna here. Former pro race horse gone commentary extraordinaire. Keeping you crazy H-Beam fans in the know all things H-Beam.
What a wild Saturday night those boys of goo had over on the other side of the bridge. Full of poorly pronounced band names, tight jeans, and plenty-o-in-biding, the night started off with Evan P. Donahue, followed by the ever widening De Nova Dahl, and of course, the men of the hour, THE VERMICIOUS K'NIDS! Blazing out a down-right happy set in celebray of their new full length album. Thanks for having us out guys!
Then, at roughly 12:28 am Sunday morning, H-Beam took the stage. First was the East Nashville Survival Kit that Mitch Huffman sent, then, some great tunes off the new album "Useful Box Of Hair" (Shameless Self Promotion), Bart Durham and Bradley Knobbler showed up for some antics, the band was really getting into it, when all of a sudden the crowd erupted into an all out rumble! A full on fist fest! Sharks and Jets, tight pants and PBR cans everywhere! Windows were broken out with strong opinions, glasses were crafted into shivs and plows, Topher's pants were taken, no one was spared...
Then, H-Beam finished playing Banana and everyone calmed down. Finished out the set and cleared out the house. They wanted me to tell everyone thanks for coming out and they hope to see ya for the next episode.
On becalf of the ridiculous animal kingdom, stay clean, stay hydrated, and what a fun time ladies and gentleham. Oh what fun it twas.
HUFFMAN: Alright, Morons. Let's make this quick. I got to get to Sportsman's to make a bet that Philly is gonna beat the snot outa the Yanks tonight. I..I..Uhhh..I mean it's gonna be a fling-fest. Let's skip the last months minutes and go straight to Production Director Matt Walberg with the first order of beeswax.
The assorted allotment of attendees clap, slap, yell, snort, and croak until
WALBERG: Thanks Mitch. I wanted to start by saying thanks to everyone that helped with the album release over a month ago, with a special thanks to Kelly Fenton with NOTeNEF Promtions.
As she is promoting on her new HTC HERO
FENTON: No Problem guys.
WALBERG: By the way, Bart DurHAM cleaned up the Hambone Cake Fiasco after the show. Frank wanted to use a vacuum, but the Pig ate the evidence.
Bart Durham wiggles and sniggles with swine-filled delight.
WALBERG: Also, if you haven't checked our blog recently, you're missing all the great reviews and press the Useful Box Of Hair is getting. It just became available on itunes and I think people are digging it so far. Everything seems to be going accordingly and we just gotta keep telling more people about it. Now I'm gonna turn it over to the Frog. Admrl?
HOPALONG: Thanks Matt. We got a few gigs coming up that deserve mention in tonight's meeting. They are as follows...
Monday : 11/02/09 : Nashville TN Mercy Lounge : 8 off 8th : Greenpeace and NOTeNEF Promotions
Thursday: 11/12/09 : Bowling Green KY Tidballs : W/ Incredible Heat Machine
We're looking forward to introducing Jerry Pentecost to the lineup at the Kentucky dates, along with having Russel Wright return to the ranks for quite a new spin on the "H-Beam Power Trio."
WALBERG: We can't wait, he's gonna be....
HOPALONG: DON'T YOU EVER INTERRUPT ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!
WALBERG: Sure. Sorry dude.
HOPALONG: Damnit, now I can't remember where I was.
DURHAM: I think you finished.
HOPALONG: Oh, alright then.
HUFFMAN: Well, Kentucky should be great. Haven't been there in quite sometime. This Jerry guy seems like quite a character. Penny Beer Night at Tidballs always does me well.Speaking of that, I gotta split. So better luck next time, and damn this is some good chili.
Mitch Huffman bolts out the door with more beer than he came in with.
09.25 (The Rutledge, Nashville TN) CD Release H-Beam line-up includes:
Andrew Hagen(Sax), Topher Walberg (Aux), Adam Brown(Drums), Russell Wright(Bass), Matt Walberg(Guitar), Nathan Johnson (Keys), Peter Lane(Mitch Huffman), Stayc Givhan(Bradley Knobbler), Bart Dur-ham, Love Panda, Rhythm Chicken, Admiral Doc Hop-a-long, and the Useful Box of Hair! WOW!
ALSO STARRING: Uncle Milty plus JPO & the V.A.B. Get there at 9pm people and let the weirdness take over.
Don't want to wait for the album?? Download now for FREE by telling 5 friends. And DON'T WORRY! We don't keep your friends' email addresses unless they download the album too! Just click on our NoiseTrade widget on this page or at www.h-beamlive.com
He stirs his light-ice cocktail and twizzles his moustache which we shall refer to hereafter as none other than Marvin. "...Burp...you need something sliced? Too bad. I got a box of hair. Diced? Wrong tree. Still a box of hair. A Useful Box of Hair. We are gathered here today, before all this bullshit, to marvel, not covet, this box of hair. Looking forward to it. I'm confident these H-Beam clowns can come up with some crazy uses for this Useful Box of Hair and so...can...you friends. The Crack-Pot Scientists at Wreakon Labs have brought you closer to a bigger, harrier box that we all know you're gonna love."
The Huff-Man takes a breath. It smells like hazelnuts and toast in here.
"Really, all you need to know folks, is that we all believe in you, H-Beam loves you, and there's always next time. Looking forward to this Box. It's gonna be fun. I might bring my Mum. And remember, this might hurt a little, you could always try harder...AND WHO TOUCHED ALL MY SHIT!"
Mitch Huffman and Marvin just passed out on your front porch with no pants.
Friday 09.25.09 : The Rutledge : H-Beam's Useful Box of Hair
Nashville's experimental rock group, H-Beam, has just announced the release of their new full-length album, Useful Box of Hair. With 17 tracks, word has it to be reminiscent of their live show performances including H-Beam's colorful array of characters, Mel Brooks style humor, and guitar-fueled rock and roll. Useful Box of Hair drops digitally on 09.09.09 at a "pay what you want" price with the help of NoiseTrade. The official cd release party takes place on 09.25.09 at the Rutledge in Nashville, TN.
H-Beam's wild music and show pulls influences from a strong upbringing in the entertainment industry. By fusing aspects of theater and music, the band fathers a musical variety show resembling genes of Rocky Horror and Frank Zappa. Sweeping, psychedelic melodies and bizarre lyrical content propel their music, as slews of props and masks add to their outrageous antics.
With elaborate compositions pushed to the boundary by weird twisted humor, H-Beam captivates audiences by leaving them with a unique musical experience. The band harnesses the power of sheer sensory overload and imprints a lasting memory in the minds of those that dare to stray from the comforts of predictable rock formulas.
H-Beam's Useful Box of Hair Digital Release: 09.09.09 CD Release Party: 09.25.09 at the Rutledge w/Uncle Milty and JPo & the VAB www.h-beamlive.com
For more information please contact: Kelly Fenton 615.403.8249 kelly@notenefpromotions.com
Side Note: H-Beam at Live on the Green sponsored by Lightning 100, Mayor Dean, and Team Green. 09.10.09 at 7pm w/Here Come the Mummies and Space Capone.
June 5th at the Rutledge : Bootsaroo Gets a Taste of the Hot Dog Fiasco
In H-Beam news, it was a groundbreaking night at the Rutledge last Friday in Nashville, TN where H-Beam emerged from their studio hibernation chamber to pay homage to the great Boots Hill in quite a return to the Nashville stage. Due to Boots' love for hot dogs, H-Beam decided to present to the audience quite a salty treat during "The Tasty Plight of Portillo the Hot Dog." Along with the first ever 'Portillo Hot Dog Fiasco,' Mitch Huffman (Manager/Producer/Agent/Caterer/Allaroundbigdeal) recited a Boots inspired po-eem, Kanye West showed up with Bart DurHAM, and the H-Beam line-up was in top form. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy some live H-Beam!
- Big Charles Tuna
SETLIST 06/05/09 Boots: A Po-eem Bang Girlz Gone Wild Banana / Kanye The Tasty Plight of Portillo the Hot Dog Luscious Gus Thrifty Bitch Mt. Change
Adam Brown (Rhythm Chicken), Nathan Johnson (Keys), Dylan Rowe (Bass), Matt Walberg (Guitar)
Time to tune in and check out some Beam TV boys and girls. H-Beam is coming atchya with a VLOG update from that lovable duo, the Vaykay Piggay and Big Charles Tuna. They got the scoop on what those H-Beam guys are up to this hot Summer.
Keep tuning in for more updates little ones. Excitement is just a click away!
All of our H-Beamish thanks go out to Mare, Rachel, Whitney, Randal, Sam, Erich, Patrick, Josh, Alex, Peter and of course sir Tom for making the first ever "Group Vocal Night" a success as well as a great time. Kelly Fenton, hostess with the mostess, had the comfort level set to chill-astic. Everyone was in great spirits abd weird places mentally. You should be looking forward to hear some of the magic made last night on the new album peeking it's dainty head around that corner. Thanks for coming down and having a great time everybody. Rock and Roll!
The epic-ness has arrived ladies and gentlemen, and it smells of meteors and burnt leather. We are rounding that proverbial corner and are a few months away from releasing our first full length album. Though long overdue by many a standard, we hope this amped track will tide the masses over while we finish up. Hope you enjoy, friends. Let the healing begin.
Below this blog of our own spat of opinionation is where H-Beam goes to get ideas of morons to sing about:
I'm sure these Nazi's are all for eliminating sign-language as well.
Now, I'm not the biggest fan of our public education system. I find that we leave a little too much out at times when it comes to detail, screwed ourselves with standardized testing, cutting the arts, and we can't seem to stop leaving kids behind. But going waaaaaaay way way back in the old elementary active recall, my memory reminds me that God-fearing, English speaking, wine drinking white people did not spring up from the fertile North American soil like moles at Chuck-e-Cheese. They came, across borders, across continents, from oppressive nations, to kick their feet up on the most comfortable Ottoman owned by their giving and gracious neighboring civilization. I do remember something about a "NATIVE AMERICAN" coming up somewhere in third grade. Now, I personally did not get the chance to meet any original natives, but I read in some school sanctioned book of knowledge that the people cared about family, each other, surviving, giving back. There music was pretty bangin', too. Lots of masks, drums, smoke. Sounds kinda like an H-Beam show. Anywho, as far as I know (even by "Dances With Wolves" standards) most of the Native Indians who resided in America, English was not a first or a second language.
So what happens if some nation decides to come on over and setup shop in our backyard because they can. Do we speak Mandarin now? French? How about those damn cunning Swedes. Will we slap each other with fish all damn day when they are the majority? Here is an idea America (and I mean you, the ignorant ones): Let's be an example for unity, compassion, and chilled-out behavior. Open a book and learn a second language. Hell, I've met quite a few Americans who can hardly read more proficiently than a fifth grader. So let's work on getting our kids more cultured, and not give them the impression that this is only our America (God's white-Englishspeaking-coffeedrinking-Superbowlhaving-modelpuking-gimmethatbackit'smine society). We are a melting pot that has no limits as to who or how many may come to these ever-depleting lands. With so many states and accents, I could hardly understand a Southern drawl when I first moved out here. Spanish is actually a great language in my opinion. It's easier to understand than our fucked-up English system, there aren't three theirs, and quite a few words en espanol actually helped shape the English language. If everybody living in America would take the time to learn some simple greetings or phrases in other "common" languages, I think we'd be better off. I don't want to be lumped into the same group as the "Americans" who put the video together and I try to distance myself from it. English is not the best, and neither is America. Let's stop giving that impression that it is. The rest of the world hates it.
As far as the "number one" song/video in English speaking America goes, the artist couple currently referred to as "Looked What I stepped In, Honey" is as ignorant and lame as the mainstream music industry. They will probably be forgotten about as fast as the ladies awful haircut, bless her heart. If that is what's popular in America, then H-Beam doesn't wanna be. I'm sure the Swedes will understand us.
The next show will be translated into Spanish, Mandarin, Swiss, Panda, Frog, French, and sign-language for your listening/viewing pleasure.
This kid should be the number one video in America:
At Least We Still Have Music, Beer, and Super Bowls
First of all, thank you for live music. Whomever is solely or jointly responsible for such creation, hats off. It is what we here at the H-Beam Workshop believe to be a "recession-proof" industry. We didn't make much money before, and we haven't made much after the results of the "sad-panda" bear market. Nonetheless, people are still going out and enjoying live music, or free studio music for that matter. Grooves are dug, beer and libations are consumed, super bowls are had. We still are going out and taking part in a scene.
Amidst the global crisis' that are plaguing this little blue planet, many below even our uber-wise and benevolent mainstream news sources radar, we as a global people aimed at peace and goodwill to our fellow man we believe are the majority. No matter how much some want us to panic and think that the world is headed towards the demon days (and how some may believe they are already upon us), positivity, hanging out and letting loose every once in a while will persevere. God and Dog willing, H-Beam will still be freaking you out.
We, H-Beam would like to send our thoughts, hopes, and prayers to those in trouble right now, whether it be job-related, family, or otherwise. It's a mess we're in and no one is safe from it. We will always do our best to try and furnish something that makes you laugh, smile, cry, or shout.
A few weeks ago, Kelly Fenton and Mare Camuso from the RedGorilla Music Fest and myself went up to St. Louis to present the last leg of the "Road to RedGorilla." We met up with Jimmie Jazz a.k.a his Holiness Senor Eddy and took a tour of the St. Louis Anheuser Busch Beer Factory. They laid an astonishing fact on us during our elaborate free tour: If AB stopped production of Bud beer and its relatives, the Mid-West would run out of beer in 18 hours. Now that, my friends, would lead to panic in the streets.
Music is what the world has in common. We will be alright... as long as we have beer, live music, and super bowls.
With a monumentally serious performance at the Windows Off the Cumberland "Renovation Debut" on New Years Eve, 2008, H-Beam rang in the new year with balloon solos, champagne toasts, a new fog machine, and all of the loveable characters you have come to know and love. Twenty-O-Nine is already looking to be a promising year full of new H-Beam material, a full length album, new videos, elaborate stage performances, as well as an expansion on H-Beam's web presence.
It only gets weirder from here folks, so to give you a little nibble, chew on this H-Beam preview of new music to come. It's gonna get messy.
