We Might Be Fine

Those damn Mayans and fanatics alike are trying to scare the whole world with this Twenty-Twelve "end of the world" hoopty-doo, and H-Beam is here to stop it! Taking advice from those cute little igbok™ stickers, we here at the H-Beam Estate would like to remind everyone out there in internet land that the world couldn't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia! Take the "H-Beam Loves You" mantra and spread it! Thanks for listening and always supporting the Weirdo Collective!

We Might Be Fine - H-Beam

"We Might Be Fine" on ReverbNation

  We Might Be Fine by hbeamlive 

H-Beam Bio: Don Bigoté

DON BIGOTE
OCCUPATION: Outlaw Moustache/Trim Specialist/Waxer & Milker
FAVORITE FOOD:
OFTEN HEARD SAYING: (Heavily muffled) “Who wants a moustache ride?”
No barber can tame him. No man can blame him. The power is all in the ‘stache. As Don Bigoté rides off into the setting sun, a lover waits, ready to take the ride of their life. With a horde of angry and insecure significant others closing in on his trail ready to shave him into oblivion, the casanova moustache of the H-Beam family will never straighten his curly ways as there is always a lover waiting for a moustache ride. Shrouded in mystery and shorn to secrecy, once your on top, there’s little to stop Don Bigoté’s Infamous moustache ride.

Minutes from H-Beam Operations Staff Meeting : Sunday Nov. 1, 2009

transcription begin : 5:42pm : 11 : 01 : 09

raps of a slammed 9 iron on the kitchen table.

HUFFMAN: Alright, Morons. Let's make this quick. I got to get to Sportsman's to make a bet that Philly is gonna beat the snot outa the Yanks tonight. I..I..Uhhh..I mean it's gonna be a fling-fest. Let's skip the last months minutes and go straight to Production Director Matt Walberg with the first order of beeswax.

The assorted allotment of attendees clap, slap, yell, snort, and croak until

WALBERG: Thanks Mitch. I wanted to start by saying thanks to everyone that helped with the album release over a month ago, with a special thanks to Kelly Fenton with NOTeNEF Promtions.

As she is promoting on her new HTC HERO
FENTON: No Problem guys.

WALBERG: By the way, Bart DurHAM cleaned up the Hambone Cake Fiasco after the show. Frank wanted to use a vacuum, but the Pig ate the evidence.

Bart Durham wiggles and sniggles with swine-filled delight.

WALBERG: Also, if you haven't checked our blog recently, you're missing all the great reviews and press the Useful Box Of Hair is getting. It just became available on itunes and I think people are digging it so far. Everything seems to be going accordingly and we just gotta keep telling more people about it. Now I'm gonna turn it over to the Frog. Admrl?

HOPALONG: Thanks Matt. We got a few gigs coming up that deserve mention in tonight's meeting. They are as follows...

Monday : 11/02/09 : Nashville TN Mercy Lounge : 8 off 8th : Greenpeace and NOTeNEF Promotions

Thursday: 11/12/09 : Bowling Green KY Tidballs : W/ Incredible Heat Machine

Friday: 11/13/09 : Louisville KY Hideaway Saloon : W/ Incredible Heat Machine

We're looking forward to introducing Jerry Pentecost to the lineup at the Kentucky dates, along with having Russel Wright return to the ranks for quite a new spin on the "H-Beam Power Trio."

WALBERG: We can't wait, he's gonna be....

HOPALONG: DON'T YOU EVER INTERRUPT ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!

WALBERG: Sure. Sorry dude.

HOPALONG: Damnit, now I can't remember where I was.

DURHAM: I think you finished.

HOPALONG: Oh, alright then.

HUFFMAN: Well, Kentucky should be great. Haven't been there in quite sometime. This Jerry guy seems like quite a character. Penny Beer Night at Tidballs always does me well.Speaking of that, I gotta split. So better luck next time, and damn this is some good chili.

Mitch Huffman bolts out the door with more beer than he came in with.

meeting adjourned : 5:49pm : 11 : 01 : 09

June 5th at the Rutledge : Bootsaroo Gets a Taste of the Hot Dog Fiasco

In H-Beam news, it was a groundbreaking night at the Rutledge last Friday in Nashville, TN where H-Beam emerged from their studio hibernation chamber to pay homage to the great Boots Hill in quite a return to the Nashville stage. Due to Boots' love for hot dogs, H-Beam decided to present to the audience quite a salty treat during "The Tasty Plight of Portillo the Hot Dog." Along with the first ever 'Portillo Hot Dog Fiasco,' Mitch Huffman (Manager/Producer/Agent/Caterer/Allaroundbigdeal) recited a Boots inspired po-eem, Kanye West showed up with Bart DurHAM, and the H-Beam line-up was in top form. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy some live H-Beam!

- Big Charles Tuna

SETLIST 06/05/09
Boots: A Po-eem
Bang
Girlz Gone Wild
Banana / Kanye
The Tasty Plight of Portillo the Hot Dog
Luscious Gus
Thrifty Bitch
Mt. Change

Adam Brown (Rhythm Chicken), Nathan Johnson (Keys), Dylan Rowe (Bass), Matt Walberg (Guitar)


Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5


Part 6

NAKED LADIES DOT COM

That's right folks, you are about to tune into the shneebly mind of the moustache-toting internet smut-meddling ever-day average son-of-a-man. Gotta love that internet folks. Here's H-Beam's tribute. Fitting to be filmed on Moustache Friday!




Here be the lyrics:
HE CREEPS AROUND ON A BIG OL WEB
HE LOVES EM ALL INSIDE HIS HEAD
DOESN’T TAKE EM OUT TO A MOVIE OR TAKE EM OUT TO EAT
HE PAYS 19.95 ONCE ANNUALLY

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

WHATEVER HE WANTS IS IN HIS HANDS
ONE A JENNA JAMESON’S BIGGEST FAN’S
BE IT MILF BARELEY LEGAL OR BIGBOOTYHO
CUMS AND GOES WHEN HE PLEASES CUZ THEY
NEVER SAY NO

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM