Monday, March 31, 2008

NAKED LADIES DOT COM

That's right folks, you are about to tune into the shneebly mind of the moustache-toting internet smut-meddling ever-day average son-of-a-man. Gotta love that internet folks. Here's H-Beam's tribute. Fitting to be filmed on Moustache Friday!




Here be the lyrics:
HE CREEPS AROUND ON A BIG OL WEB
HE LOVES EM ALL INSIDE HIS HEAD
DOESN’T TAKE EM OUT TO A MOVIE OR TAKE EM OUT TO EAT
HE PAYS 19.95 ONCE ANNUALLY

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

WHATEVER HE WANTS IS IN HIS HANDS
ONE A JENNA JAMESON’S BIGGEST FAN’S
BE IT MILF BARELEY LEGAL OR BIGBOOTYHO
CUMS AND GOES WHEN HE PLEASES CUZ THEY
NEVER SAY NO

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

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Setlist at J.J.'s Bohemia 03/28/08 : MOUSTACHE FRIDAY

My moustache was so pumped for this event, he was talking about it all week. I got him all trimmed and combed up real fancy-like. Had on quite the shneebly attire to compliment him. We we're ready for MOUSTACHE FRIDAY!

Thank you to out new friends at J.J.'s (who are tré cool by the way), the Nim Nims (kicked total rock and roll ass), our old buddies Up With The Joneses (TJ is my wingman), and all of the wonderful familiar faces that made the whole event pretty dawg garn special. We can't wait to make our way back down to JJ's for round two; we know it's gonna be a wet one. I would have to say that J.J.'s Bohemia has ranked somewhere in H-Beam's top 5 favorite places to play. Super cool vibe and pretty awesome sound. Thanks John and Jenny (sp). Hope to see you soon!

Viva el bigoté

Soundcheck (Special Moustache Friday Edition):
JANE & JANE
BANG
---------
THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOT DOG
TANK
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
BANANA *
CUMBERLAND HOP
MONEY 4 NOTHIN !
THRIFTY BITCH
ROLLERDERBY
GGW
CAN CAN'T
MT. CHANGE

* moustache edition
! Dire Straits cover

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Setlist at Tidballs 03/20/08 : What a sweaty mess

We we're celebrating "Beaster" Thursday in "Rolling" Green,KY (be purified in the bud of Christ my child) and everyone was out to have a good time. H-Beam hid plastic easter eggs all over the bar with little treats hidden inside (quarters, staples, peanut butter, condoms, you know, the usual). One egg had a very special "pink pussy feather" which if found guaranteed a sweet H-Beam CD and T-Shirt. How original of a prize. It was fun having the club patrons come up to us in the middle of the set to share their prizes with us. We will be doing that again!

It never ceases to amaze me how a little dive bar in the middle of Bowling Green, KY can always produce such a wild and crazy audience. If everywhere H-Beam played, Tidballs' crowd came, we would always be guaranteed a good time. The Postal Service opened up which made for a solid night of Nashville music. I will say that this show was the most interactively attentive crowd we have had in a while. Through all of the technical difficulties, you always appreciate what we do Tidballs. That's why we love you (please excuse the mushiness).


TANK
LUSCIOUS GUS
THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOT DOG
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
THRIFTY BITCH
ALLA REALLY WANNA
ROLLERDERBY
DIG DEEPER
MT. CHANGE
CUMBERLAND HOP *
CANOE
BELIEVE
COMPLIMENTABILITY
NOT THE FATHER
GIRLS GONE WILD !
JANE AND JANE
LOVE PANDA
DON'T DO IT

(ENCORE)
FANTASY LIFE
SHEEP

* Amanda found the pink pussy feather. She also came up and sang a very special "Watermelon" version of Cumberland Hop.

! Camera Girl pulled from the audience to film "MANBOOBS!"

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Becoming of JANE

H-Beam presents JANE : Saturday 04.19.08 Vanderbilt's Rites of Spring

a girl finds out who she really is... a lesbian.


"H-Beam will have you dancing and playing air guitar till you drop to your knees on Alumni Lawn at this year's Rites or Spring."
~The Vanderbilt Hustler
Chris Gearing : Versus Entertainment Publication


As the flowers bloom this Spring across Alumni Lawn, so will the explorative sexuality of one young girl as she is presented in H-Beam's rock and roll extravaganza "JANE." Consisting of material familiar to the avid H-Beam fan, but presented in a completely new fashion, H-Beam will perform the 30-minute piece which will take the audience through the turbulent journey of a girl who can't seem to make it with the "RITE" crowd.

Always striving to take their rock show to the next level of entertainment, H-Beam has cast a slew of local talent to perform as characters in their "musical" ranging from Rites appropriate "Feist" Fanatics and The "Lil Jon" Love Panda as well as the Admiral Doc Hop-a-long, and of course, Jane. The core trio of H-Beam will act as musical and spoken narrators for the JANE production with each guest character adding their own musical performances to the show.


With a rock and roll show full of H-Beam's signature as well as new characters, classic concepts of comedy, and drenched in innuendo, H-Beam is scheduled NOT to disappoint this April at Vanderbilt's Rites of Spring. Get ready for the most rockin-sexually-disorienting-face-melting-30-minutes Vanderbilt has ever experienced.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Nashville Press: H-Beam brings the funk to Rites





MUSIC: H-beam brings the funk to Rites
Submitted by Chris Gearing on 03-19-08 (Vanderbilt Versus)

Although you may have had stars in your eyes when you heard that names like Spoon and Lil Jon are coming to Rites of Spring this April, let’s not forget a little Nashville-based psychedelic rock band that really harkens back to the days of Steve Miller, Hendrix and maybe even a little bit of Bowie. What group could deliver such an eclectic punch, you may ask? H-Beam, my friends - the answer to all your groovy, funkadelic and classic rock prayers.

The best place to start for their sound is definitely their Myspace profile, (myspace.com/hbeamlive) with five of their best tracks available for your cochlear delight. You’ll be greeted by "Cumberland Hop," which is a soothing rock ballad with a bit of a bluesy riff that will lull you into a bit of sway, if not a slow dance. This rolling rhythm is followed by the sexy and seductive bass lines of "Alla Really Wanna" with lyrics reminiscent of Steve Miller’s "The Joker" mixed with "Jungle Love." If you want a bit more punch to your music, click on "Bang" with its fist-pumping chorus, heavy guitar riff and impressive percussion really kicking your rock meter into overdrive.

Even though you may be focused on the more mainstream names in this year’s Rites lineup, don’t overlook other lesser-known acts like H-Beam. They may not have made it big yet (with heavy emphasis on yet), but they’re definitely worth your time this April. The psychedelic and classic rock sound that H-Beam brings to the table will have you dancing and playing air guitar till you drop to your knees on Alumni Lawn at this year’s Rites of Spring.




Thanks for the kind words Chris! Can’t wait to rock Rites of Spring!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The "Sex" Panda

These rare photos were taken at the RedGorilla Music Fest in Austin, TX. This rare breed of Love Panda is known as the "Sex" Panda. Being far more discombobulated from waaaaaaayyyyy too much self-loving as well as mass-love, this LP is the life of the party, and quite the stage diver.

(sometimes in the wrong direction).






Thanks Dylan!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The 900-Pound Red Gorilla

Red Gorilla Music Fest 2008 (RGMF) is officially over. Yes folks, the week that every indie hopeful dreams of has finally come to a close. The rocking sets have been rocked, the whiskey has been shwilled, and our mini-van, returned. This being our second trip to Austin, TX for the RGMF, we had a much better idea of what to expect from the live music capitol of the world.

The twelve hour trip from Nashville flew by as we (H-BEAM, accompanied by Tour Manager Mr. Tom Crowly) headed to central Texas with a recently acquired handle of liquid courage, our mini-van packed to the brim with gear, our excitement and adrenaline keeping us pumped. As we pulled into town, we knew nothing had changed. Austin was weirder than ever.

The RGMF had expanded to I believe four new venues making seven total on 6th street (please correct me if I'm wrong. There is no awesomely designed festival guide designed by Ms. Kelly Fenton in front of me). We pulled into town about 12:30am late Wednesday night/Thursday moring which was just in time to catch up with the boys in The Loft and the RGMF Staff. We turned in pretty quick.

Thursday March, 13th. The day of the show. We started off with a little morning wake up sesh, plenty of oranges, coffee and greens. Followed by a five minute trip to the 6th Street pandemonium, where we were able to catch the incredible sets by Nashville's AutoVaughn and the Hollywood Kills, as well as Tulsa's The Effects. Awesome shows guys. Thanks for making it out to ours.

After the rock, we grabbed some killer Thai and headed back to the van to prepare. Time to hit the streets. The Love Panda posed for pictures, the Rhythm Chicken wailed some gnarly solos, Hop-a-long promoted for the show, all amidst the total chaos of 6th Street. Too much fun. Lots of pictures and interviews. Send them here if you got em. I truly believe the outrageous promotional methods will soon become staple for the annual event. Plans for next year are already being made.

Fast forward past the smooth load in to the moment of truth. Show Time. I had heard of bands flying as far as Italy to play ONE forty minute set in front of a small crowd for no guarantee. That's RGMF/SXSW for ya folks. Thank God we only drove Twelve hours. Plus, WHAT A GREAT CROWD. The excitement and energy was apparent before the first note. It was go time and we were ready.

I truly believe it was one of the most energetic shows we have played to date. The notes were right on, the pinky's were well used, the banter felt natural. I speak for myself when I say I don't think I could have asked for a better performance. It helps having great guys to play with, and an incredible crowd full of new and familiar faces. Thanks again everybody for having a blast with us. Dylan (the Hollywood Kills), you were the perfect "Sex" Panda.

After the set, we quickly decompressed and got a night of debauchery underway. For those of you at the VelvetBrick after party, Topher's neck is fine and he is NOT the father. I will say that the Best Wurst is a fine bratwurst establishment and I highly recommend it if you have the means. We somehow made it back to our buddy Chris' house where we all managed to make it into our beds (couches and sleeping bags), and the day was over.

Friday was short-lived in Austin as we only got to catch our buddies in The Running and The Last Straw. (Sorry we couldn't stay the whole time guys). It was then off to Dallas to make a stop at the Green Elephant. The RGMF was over for H-Beam.

The Matt Walberg wrap-up:

After Decompressing at home all day Sunday, I can't even begin to tell you how much fun we had. Here at H-Beam, Inc., we are already plotting over new and more efficient ways to make the most out of RGMF next year. We're not looking for the majors to come swindling and flocking, just to get more of you die-hards listening to H-Beam. I love being a poor rock and/or roll musician and I have realized that I would not wish for any other path. I cannot wish for instant success for it is generally short-lived. Success will come in the form of longevity. H-Beam is doing this the right way. The weird way. The way that others have told us to abandon, to stray, and others to stay the course. I know I will play till I die, and I will be able to find the means.
I look forward to seeing you all again soon.

It's always fun driving 900 miles and still being surrounded by familiar faces. To all the bands, promoters, young entrepreneurs, and super-fans: Keep rocking, be safe and think weird till we meet again. Hopefully sooner that RGMF '09.

Setlist at The Green Elephant 03/14/08 : H-Beam does Dallas

H-Beam’s triumphant return to the Green Elephant. Passed through last year on our way down to Austin, TX and they liked us so much, they asked us to stop by on the way back home and play their St. Pats festival. Wasn’t that nice.

This year they were gracious enough to have us back even after the horrible mess Aaron, the monkey and that lemon meringue pie made in the bathroom last year. Thank you Arthur for the great sound and working all the details out. Shannon, you’re too accommodating.

And Warren, congrats on that free burger. You deserved it. Hope that rash heals up. eeeh.

LUSCIOUS GUS
FANTASY LIFE >
KING OF THE HILL
ALL REALLY WANNA
COMPLIMENTABILITY
CANOE
CUMBERLAND HOP
GIRLS GONE WILD >
JANE & JANE
NAKED LADIES DOT COM >
MONEY FOR NOTHING >
THRIFTY BITCH >
ROLLERDERBY
PORTILLO
MT. CHANGE
TANK
MAGGIES FARM

Setlist at Chuggin Monkey 03/13/08 : Red Gorilla Music Fest

The Chuggin’ Monkey
Austin, TX

Thanks again to all the familiar and new faces who made it out to the Red Gorilla Set. Kevin, the sound was superb as always. Just trying to papa happy. Tom, thanks for being our wingman. Thanks to Brian and all the RG crew for having H-Beam out. Kelly Fenton with NOTeNEF Promotions/RG/H-Beam is the greatest promoter in the U.S.

Dylan - you are one fucking awesomely drunk "sex" panda buddy. See ya soon.

Hope to see even more of you out next year. This set was the most fun I’ve had in a while.

LUSCIOUS GUS
PORTILLO
LOVE PANDA
LOG
CUMBERLAND HOP
GIRLS GONE WILD
JANE & JANE
THE CAN CAN
ROLLERDERBY
MT. CHANGE


ALL SONGS SEGUED

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Peep War Spring Tour ’08 Press release

The Peep War Spring Tour '08 Press release

H-Beam Returns To Austin
"H-Beam cannot be accused of falling into the old Nashville rock rut of shoegazing; their outlandish use of unorthodox instruments in a superlative light show set their live act a cut above most bands playing the club circuit."

~All The Rage (ATR)
Nashville Entertainment Weekly

The Spring lineup for the H-Beam crew is coming up daisies. Along with working diligently on a new full-length album, H-Beam has a fantastic Spring calendar that will ease the anticipation for the Summer release. Since last March, H-Beam has stuck true to there word on developing and delivering an over-stimulating sensory rock show along with producing such events as Halloweeno Nintendo, The New Year's Wedding Around The World, and H-Beam's Camp "What Happens Here, Stays Here." The rest of the year is rumored to host the wildest H-Beam shows to date.

Along with being asked to represent the local Nashville music scene at Vanderbilt's "Rites of Spring" Music Festival, H-Beam is excitedly returning to Austin, TX this year for the Red Gorilla Music Fest. With new material and characters added to the fray, H-Beam will have no problem "keeping Austin weird."

Riding on the enormous success and great responses of the previous year, H-Beam will be returning to such cities as Chattanooga, TN, Jackson, MS, Dallas, TX, Louisville, KY, and St. Louis, MO.

Dubbed as "Nashville's Best Bet" (ATR) as well as a "Bonnaroo-approved act" by Jason M. Wilkins (Nashville Scene), H-Beam is a blast onstage.

Featured artist on:
BangCartoon.com - Home of the Best NFL Comedy Cartoons and Podcasts.
EndlessBoundaries.com - Broadcasting for 10 years
102.9 fm The Buzz Nashville - Local Buzz Artist
91.1 fm WRVU Nashville - Regular Guest Spots

Sunday, March 02, 2008

The Show Must Go Long?

First and foremost, to all the fans that came out last night to vote for your favorite H-Beamers, thank you thank you thank, especially to those that stayed up way too late with us. Sorry about the late start guys. Also, to the Incredible Heat Machine and Zombie Bazooka Patrol crews, thanks for sticking around to the end as well. Both bands nailed it last night. Hope you guys had a blast.

And to the Loyal Family. Great job on bringing together some fucking phenomenal talent to put on three great nights at Windows on the Cumberland. Bobby, Boots, and Kelly. We love you guys.

TOM IS THE SHIT

When the campfire died down, all we have are the memories and Ron's photos of a pretty crazy night. We had a proverbial blast in the pants. Alas, Topher's European underwear, a homemade Totem poll, a wicked set, and our fans votes was not enough to surpass MoonTaxi's raw talent and their Belmont Brigade. Kudos guys. You are the most popular kids in school.

All in all, it will probably be the last "battle of the fans" we get ourselves into. It was great representing Nashville and getting in front of new faces, new talent buyers, and seeing old friends, but it just comes down to working yourself up over getting "VOTES." It for sure brings out a competition in everybody which I believe is both natural and somewhat unnecessary. OUR FANS ARE NOT VOTES! THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS (sob sob, oscar moment). It shouldn't be about picking sides or being territorial. It's about good entertainment. Here's to the new and old friends in this whole thing that make me wanna keep rocking till I can't anymore.

I'd rather focus my energy making new animal heads or practicing arpeggios.

Setlist for 03/01/08 : The SummerCamp Talent Search.

See zee blog upstairs for commentary. The Gallery's open, we're selling peanuts.

SUMMERCAMP GRANADA
CUMBERLAND HOP *
GIRLS GONE WILD
KUMBAYA !
THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOTDOG
LOG
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
JANE & JANE
CANOE
RACE FOR YOUR LIFE CHARLIE BROWN
CAMP ANAWANA
IGUANDON
COMPLIMENT

* The Admiral Doc Hopalong on Baritone Sax
! Boots Hill on Vocals
Andrew Hagan on Baritone Sax


By the way. In case you didn't already know, Mr. Andrew Hagan is a Grade A Certified Bad-Ass. You rock my friend. Hope to do it again sometime.

Setlist at Martins 02/29/08 : Happy Leap Year

Martin's always proves to be a vacation for us. It's generally host for a wild time of rock'n'roll'n debauchery. Been a while since the last show. We could hardly wait to get things started. The final night of the "Republican Recap Decap" and Olivia Boxer the Unicorn dropped in. Chris, the sound was awesome. Thanks for letting us crash. Patty (I hope you spell that with a y), you are the coolest. See ya soon guys


Sound Check
JANE & JANE
PAPERBACK WRITER (Kind of)

THRIFTY BITCH
GIRLS GONE WILD
BANANA
BANG
CUMBERLAND HOP
FANTASY LIFE
KING OF THE HILL
DIG DEEPER
BELIEVE
MONEY FOR NOTHING
CANOE
RACE FOR YOUR LIFE CHARLIE BROWN
CAMP ANAWANA
IGUANADON'T
JANE & JANE


PEEKABAH
NOT THE FATHER
THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOTDOG
THE REPUBLICAN RECAP DECAP
MONEY MONEY MONEY
MY CAUCUS IS BIGGER THAN YOURS
LADYMARMALADE
CAN CAN
LUSCIOUS GUS
JIVE
TANK
MORWAHPLEEZ
IGUANADON
LOVE PANDA
COMPLIMENT
MT. CHANGE