H-Beam Bio: Don Bigoté

DON BIGOTE
OCCUPATION: Outlaw Moustache/Trim Specialist/Waxer & Milker
FAVORITE FOOD:
OFTEN HEARD SAYING: (Heavily muffled) “Who wants a moustache ride?”
No barber can tame him. No man can blame him. The power is all in the ‘stache. As Don Bigoté rides off into the setting sun, a lover waits, ready to take the ride of their life. With a horde of angry and insecure significant others closing in on his trail ready to shave him into oblivion, the casanova moustache of the H-Beam family will never straighten his curly ways as there is always a lover waiting for a moustache ride. Shrouded in mystery and shorn to secrecy, once your on top, there’s little to stop Don Bigoté’s Infamous moustache ride.

Donate To Flood Relief

We here at H-Beam HQ (a prized Nashville establishment) are trying to do all we can to help aid the victims of the recent flooding events in the Middle Tennessee area. Please follow the link above for donation opportunities brought to you in part by The Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee.

Thank you for your support of this great state. H-Beam Loves You.

So, What's This Box?

And Mr. Huffman says, "What isn't this box?"

He stirs his light-ice cocktail and twizzles his moustache which we shall refer to hereafter as none other than Marvin. "...Burp...you need something sliced? Too bad. I got a box of hair. Diced? Wrong tree. Still a box of hair. A Useful Box of Hair. We are gathered here today, before all this bullshit, to marvel, not covet, this box of hair. Looking forward to it. I'm confident these H-Beam clowns can come up with some crazy uses for this Useful Box of Hair and so...can...you friends. The Crack-Pot Scientists at Wreakon Labs have brought you closer to a bigger, harrier box that we all know you're gonna love."

The Huff-Man takes a breath. It smells like hazelnuts and toast in here.

"Really, all you need to know folks, is that we all believe in you, H-Beam loves you, and there's always next time. Looking forward to this Box. It's gonna be fun. I might bring my Mum. And remember, this might hurt a little, you could always try harder...AND WHO TOUCHED ALL MY SHIT!"

Mitch Huffman and Marvin just passed out on your front porch with no pants.

Friday 09.25.09 : The Rutledge : H-Beam's Useful Box of Hair

The Freedom Dog Fourth of July Freedom Festivities

Not only was Boots (Windows on the Cumberland, H-Beam's Godfather) dishing out FREE Freedom Dogs for the patrons of our FREE Fourth of July show, but he played host for a great second annual H-Beam Independence Day Extraveganza. The Woodwork Roadshow tore it up both before and after the H-Beam set with the amazing Harris Gardner sitting in on H-Beam's "Thrifty Bitch" and "Cumberland Hop" laying down an amzing electric mandolin display.

The crowd was ready to party with a constant revolving door of new and old fans stopping in for the event. Thanks to Tom, Kelly, Stayc, Boots, Bobby, Harris, and all of our great supporters. Wish we could make every show a free one. Maybe someday.

Here's to Freedom Dogs.

This show will be available on Archive.org soon!

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL
THRIFTY BITCH *
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
CUMBERLAND HOP *#
GIRLS GONE WILD / YOUNG AMERICAN
BANANA
BANG
ALLA REALLY WANNA
FANTASY LIFE / FORTUNATE SON
LUSCIOUS GUS
TANK
LOVE PANDA
PEEKABAH
STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER
PORTILLO
JANE AND JANE
MT. CHANGE
AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL TAG
WAR PIGS

* (Harris Gardner on Mandolin)
# (Stayc Givhan as the Adml. Doc Hopalong

Here you are your honor, the evidence...

Andy A's big B-Day Extravaganza. The only Love Panda to date who gave us an Oscar-winning performance in "Death of a Love Panda." The night was full of ROCK and ROLL people. Crazy energy at this one. Mr. Ron Mac Daddy himself documented on his memory suspender retaining device. Very high tech people. Check it out:

NAKED LADIES DOT COM

That's right folks, you are about to tune into the shneebly mind of the moustache-toting internet smut-meddling ever-day average son-of-a-man. Gotta love that internet folks. Here's H-Beam's tribute. Fitting to be filmed on Moustache Friday!




Here be the lyrics:
HE CREEPS AROUND ON A BIG OL WEB
HE LOVES EM ALL INSIDE HIS HEAD
DOESN’T TAKE EM OUT TO A MOVIE OR TAKE EM OUT TO EAT
HE PAYS 19.95 ONCE ANNUALLY

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

WHATEVER HE WANTS IS IN HIS HANDS
ONE A JENNA JAMESON’S BIGGEST FAN’S
BE IT MILF BARELEY LEGAL OR BIGBOOTYHO
CUMS AND GOES WHEN HE PLEASES CUZ THEY
NEVER SAY NO

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

Rounding out August and the Attack of the Hyphenated Bands!

Pics from the August 12th show at Vexfest IV in Youngstown, Ohio.


Well hello all you fellow Beamers. We are about to round out the month with shows in Bowling Green, KY, Columbia, MO and Jackson MS. And as September rounds the corner we will be showcasing at 3rd & Lindsley for the Next BIG Nashville event on September 6th and supporting progressive rockers U-Melt in Knoxville, TN on the 8th! If you would rather catch us in the daylight- we are playing a ROCK fest in Johnson City earlier that day (at 2:30). Check it- We are sharing the bill with Mod-rockers Ligion and Hot Action Cop, metalmen Shadows of Light, and more hard rockers at the "Chainsaw Circus". We know we can rock that hard, but can they handle the crazy antics of the H-Beam? Either way, East Tennessee on the 2nd Saturday of September will surely rock the house. Please keep checking back for updates! We love you our H-Beam friends!