Camp "What Happens Here, Stays Here."

It's time to bust out your Stay-Puft Marshmallows, gather round the camp fire, and sing a roaring chorus of "Kumbayah" because the wacky wranglers of mayhem are taking you to SummerCamp this Saturday Night, March 1st.

The Summercamp Music Festival 2008 is a shindig taking place up in Chillicothe, IL May 23rd, 24th, and 25th that includes such artists as The Flaming Lips, Moe, Umphrey's McGee, and some band named Widespread Something-or-another. The organizers of the festival have created a traveling "American Idol" (minus Paula Abdul hooking up with contestants) that is scouting the states for talent to play the Summercamp Festival. Each city has a winner, who in turn get to play at the festival. The winner is determined by voter turnout. That's right folks, just in case you needed even more caucuses.

H-Beam is generally aware that these things are a popularity contest. Bands sabotaging equipment. Malicious comments made about some lead singer's pants no being tight enough. Two rivaling guitarists entering into an all out face melt bonanza. We've all seen it play out before, some a hundred times.

H-Beam just wants to go to camp. So here's there solution that will make them happy regardless.




Sign on up you happy campers. H-Beam is going camping in there own sick and twisted way. Taking the whole SummerCamp thing a direction only obvious to the ridiculous nature of the trio. Hike up your socks, dust your canoe, and pitch a tent cause it's gonna be a nutty one.



H-Beam Will be performing last of four bands in the evening. The bus leaves at Midnight to Camp "What Happens Here, Stays Here." Rumors of Crazy girls across the lake, shorts up on a flagpole, plenty of references to "Race For Your Life Charlie Brown," and I do believe the Admiral Doc Hop-a-long will be swamping by for a blistering lick or two.

H-BEAM NEEDS YOUR VOTE TO MAKE IT TO CHILLICOTHE FOR THE SUMMERCAMP FESTIVAL

VOTE H-BEAM '08

Set from the Rutledge 02/09/08 "Canadian Love Panda Day"

That's right ya'll. Just read the blog below and you'll be keen on what we were going nuts on last night. The Love Panda was at a prime performance while our resident Canadian "Panda Handler" added a touch of class to the entire event. Bangladesh and Mindset Defect were two very rockin' metal acts that made us feel totally at home. We had a great crowd response which makes me wanna promote and bill some more shows towards the heavy-shred-goth-fantasy-math-metal-rock side of life. They seem to understand our humor. When I say they, yes, I mean you. Thanks for having fun with us. You fucking rock. Thanks again Andy and Stayc. The sound was superb Brodie!

...And Stayc. Thanks for denouncing my fear of pop-ups.

CANADIAN LOVE PANDA DAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE PANDA >*
THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOT DOG >
LUSCIOUS GUS >
BANANA
GGW >
BANG
ROLLERDERBY !
MT. CHANGE
LOVE PANDA *%
NAKED LADIES DOT COM ^
TANK

> DENOTES SEGUE
*(STAYC THE CANADIAN)
! THE MITCH HUFFMAN PICK OF THE SET
% ANDY THE LOVE PANDA
^ 1ST LIVE PERFORMANCE

Thanks again everyone that helped. NOTeNEF Promotions - Ron Macaluso - and of course The Rutledge

H-Beam celebrates Canadian Love Panda Day

Not only is tomorrow Andy birthday. If you were Canadian, you would be celebrating Canadian Love Panda Day.

All the little children across the Rockies duct tape or fasten his or her long underwear onto the toilet in hopes that when they sleep, the Love Panda will creep creepily into there room, stare at the children for an uncomfortable amount of time, and proceed to the bathroom. There, the love panda begins his loving ritual and emits, along with gleeish shrieking, a gift beyond compare.

This Panda love drop can be used for a variety of purposes. Included but not limited to, toothpaste, antibacterial ointment, hair-gel, toast spread, lubricant, and has the burning equivalent to 10 gallons of diesel fuel. Some say it has the medicinal qualities to cure some flagrant cancers.

The story of the Love Panda dates back to early Egyptian days when many revered the Love Panda as a sacred animal that loved himself beyond all others. We’re talking way before Narcissi.

The ultimate fate of any Love Panda is the attainment of “one stroke too many.” The LP at a ripe old age will have a bad day and really take it out on himself. He pleasures himself to the point where none of God’s creatures should please. The LP then erupts into a fountain of fur and skittles that are even better than the ones you buy at the store. The LP is then renamed.

Throughout time, the LP has been renamed a total of 2037 times. The current LP was born at the Beijing Vet Center in 1959 and was smuggled by renegade Asian Mounties to the sweet land of Canadia. In 1967 The LP was christened in Vancouver and helped spark the short-lived Canadian “Free Loove, Eh?” movement. The movement, ending rather confusingly, was able to squeeze out a National Holiday that everyone could use as an excuse to not work.

So, you little Canadian rascals, hang that long underwear, you may want to wear earplugs, cause tomorrow, February 9, is Canadian Love Panda Day.

The Buzz Around Town

That's right folks. Don't touch that dial. H-Beam has made it onto Nashville syndicated radio. With a few spins already tallied last week, "Bang" is receiving air-play on 102.9 the Buzz. Also, this SUPERBOWL Sunday just got even more super because it will be followed by an on-air interview and performance by H-Beam on 102.9's "Local Buzz." The show will start at 10pm central. Big time, here we come.

Sorry guys. No online streaming for this station. Hopefully we can follow up with a recording of the show.