Tuesday, August 10, 2010

H-Beam Bio: Bert DurHam


BURT DUR”HAM” aka VACATION PIG aka THE VAYKAY PIGGAY
OCCUPATION: Attorney-at-Hog/Travel Agent/Purveyor: Hambones Restaurant
FAVORITE FOOD: Buffets and torts
OFTEN HEARD SAYING: “Getting SUE-eed? That means you need... Burt DurHam”
Following around H-Beam is just as lucrative for this swine lawyer as chasing an ambulance leaving a tractor-trailer accident. With clients such as Kanye North-South-East-West, Miss Piggy, Lindsay Loham, and the entire H-Beam family, Burt DurHam is a specialist at out-of-snort settlements. And when he’s not busy chewing the fat, you’ll find him soaking up the sun in some exotic coastal location with a frozen concoction in hoof. The money behind Hambones, a high-end eatery that boasts its extensive Ranch selection, this George Orwell nightmare knows how to live high off the hog.