Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Unfortunate News: Love Panda

The World Wildlife Fund (WWF) has placed "Useful Box of Hair" on their DNPL (Do Not Purchase List). It's sad news for all concerned. It seems, as we all know, Pandas are on the ESL (Endangered Species List) and need to procreate. You know DTD (Do The Deed). Not a PJ (Paw Job).

It seems the WWF does not want any Panda SHS (Spilling His Sperm) on or off stage other than in a FPV (Fertile Panda Vagina).

After speaking with an unnamed source from WWF, they are going to serve H-Beam at their next live performance with a CAD (Cease and Desist)
order unless there is a female Pandet involved in the SOS (Squirting Of Seed) without being saved for immediate API (Artificial Panda Insemination). Officials have notice that since the release of UBoH, the male Pandas who have listened to the perversion are growing extended bulk muscle tone in their right arms. As most environmentalists are aware, the only Pandas living are right handed. This must stop immediately.

Do not feel alone in this process. Panda Express (PE) will be ceasing immediately with their advertising campaign and be closing all restaurants claiming the economy as the reason. The fact is they are not providing anything edible for the Pandas or humans or anything living for that matter. After extensive research, it has been uncovered that the Communist Chinese Government (CCG) has been planning a take over of the USA (you know) and the WWF has found that many people "eating" at PE are having uncontrolled desires to eating chicken broth with chopsticks using only their right hands. And of course you know what's next.


We must stop this insanity.......... NOW!

Chairman Kung Paul

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